Friday, March 26, 2021

editing my writing!

 this week I edited a part of my writing the purple parts are the sentence changes and the blue is the capitals




“SPIDER!” my mum screams as i run to her room “where?” i look to the corner of the room and right there standing as still as a statue was a tiny jumping spider “aww its so tiny” i say as i grab a glass cup and a piece of paper to scoop it up “come on tiny spider your going outside” then my mum says after “it jumped at me!” “it means no harm it just wants friends” i say 








AAH THERE IS A SPIDER IN MY ROOM!!” my mum screams as I run to her room “Where?” I look to the corner of the room and right there standing as still as a statue was a tiny jumping spider. “Aww its so tiny” I say as I grab a glass cup and a piece of paper to scoop it up “Come on tiny spider your going outside” then my mum quickly repliedIt jumped at m, ,e!” then I said right after“Its just a little spider what can it do? 


thank you for reading my work!

1 comment:

  1. hello Tui i really like your writing how you put colours to express the people feelings and explanation marks along with it to.

    next time you should do more writing and add alot of people to do alot of feeling's and make it more pop with alot of expressions

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